A Day of Brewing

Yesterday I had the opportunity to shadow Dave, one of our fantastic brewers! It was a long, hard, sweaty ten-hour shift, and by the end of the day I was covered in hops and hives, but the experience was well worth it! I wish I could say I am now an expert on craft beer, but there is so much more to the process than I ever realized.

A Whiskey Thursday

Birthday Weekend

My goodness, turning 28 has been fun!

Friday evening a friend came into the city for dinner, drinks and a sleepover at my place. It was my millionth time dining at Dosa, but first time at their Fillmore location. I've always been afraid to branch out beyond their restaurant on Valencia because I was afraid it might ruin a good thing. I'm sure glad I did, because the Fillmore location is about five times the size and the decor is to die for!

 

Saturday morning, we headed downtown for Yoga for Hope, San Francisco's annual yoga fundraising event for City of Hope, a brilliant research and treatment hospital in Southern California, specializing in cancer, HIV/AIDS and diabetes. It was an unbelievably sunny day in Union Square, perfect for sweating through a couple hours worth of yoga workshops and demonstrations. There were a handful of sponsor booths with samples. Worth mentioning were the chocolate flavored Zico coconut water - holy cow! And the fig-blueberry-wheat grass smoothies at the Whole Foods booth - oh yum!

After Yoga for Hope, I hopped over the bridge to Oakland to attend the annual fundraising dinner for Little Flock Children's Homes near Chennai, India, which my Aunt Viji started. There are currently 48 children living there, many of whom were orphaned after the 2004 tsunami. Little Flock's mission is not to have the children adopted but to raise them in a Godly, family-like environment and to provide academic and career opportunities to them as young adults. 

Sunday morning I met up with a few friends at The Phoenix Hotel for a Sunday Funday event called The Do Over. Even though we RSVP'd, we stood in line for ages. Thanks to the liquor store across the street, we didn't mind.

This morning there was delivery of Mrs. Field's cookies from my parents, one coworker brought me flowers, and another bought me a burrito for lunch- heck yes! I had to "work" late, but who could mind when the extra hours entailed entertaining guests and industry professionals at our kick-off party for San Francisco Cocktail Week!

 What more could a girl ask for? I am oh-so blessed by the people in my life! Cheers to another wonderful year shared with all of you!

Little Pink Drill

Fact: I'm a girlie-girl. Fact: I'm an incredibly stubborn and independent girl. 

I'm pretty sure whoever first decided that a full-size, pink power drill ought to exist had me in mind. My grandparents bought me this one by Little Pink Drill as a housewarming gift last month! I named her "Towanda" (If that doesn't make sense to you, go rent Fried Green Tomatoes immediately). 

Despite my miserable failure of an attempt at hanging curtain rods last weekend, I'm determined to master this thing! My friend and former coworker Kirstin is sleeping over tonight, and, while she doesn't realize it yet, this little girls' night in is actually a ploy to get those curtains hung. Being a home-owner has turned her into a DIY rock star!

Staying Warm in the Sunset

I live in the Sunset neighborhood of San Francisco where it's cold all the time. Literally, all year around I wake up to my car dripping wet and fog so thick sometimes I can't see past my block. I'm pretty stingy on utilities so I try to find practical ways to stay cozy in my little flat without turning on my heater. 

Here are some of my favorites... 

Socks and slippers galore! I live in my white booties. They're oh so cozy! But my knock-off Ugg slippers and those thick knitted socks sure get a lot of wear too. Cooking and baking is an easy way to warm the place up and it forces me to eat real food instead of living off of take-out. Hats! I've never thought of myself as a hat person, but for a long time I didn't think I could pull off big earrings either (thanks Kirstin!). My favorite place to shop for cheap, fun winter accessories like hats and scarves is definitely H&M.

Speaking of scarves... They're my fall weather obsession. I've got a drawer full. My favorite black one was stolen a few months ago and I've been on the hunt for a replacement ever since. I've also been trying to find extra long ones that wrap around several times instead of hanging down in the front. I've seen them in photos but never been able to track one down for myself, so I was thrilled to find a long, black one at Nordstrom Rack on my lunch break last week! And for so cheap! I'll have to keep checking back there to see if any other colors come in.

Labor Day Weekend in Amador County

I spent Labor Day weekend in Amador County, one of my favorite Northern California gems! My grandparents have lived in Jackson (yes, there's more there than an Indian casino) for 20 years, so I have plenty of wonderful childhood memories there. But it has been especially delightful to explore the area in new ways as an adult.

Thanks to a LivingSocial Escapes deal, I stayed two nights at the St. George Inn in Volcano. The LivingSocial deal came with a bottle of local wine, two $20 vouchers to the Jackson Rancheria casino, and a discount voucher for dinner in the St. George restaurant.

A scenic 15 minute drive away from the St. George is Sutter Creek, a quaint town known for having the most thriving boutiques and antique shops in Amador County. My favorite is Tomorrow's Heirlooms. They carry the most darling women's clothing and paper goods! Another favorite is Tea Eras. Their menu allows you to choose from a variety of tea, pastry and lunch items, and their gift shop guarantees you won't leave empty handed.

While Jackson doesn't have quite as many shops, don't overlook their downtown. There's a great kitchen store, candy and ice cream shop (we're talking troughs of salt water taffy, people!), and a handful of unique boutiques and antique shops. I would also recommend popping by the Kennedy Mine. It's a great piece of California history!

Two must-sees that I didn't hit last weekend but did enjoy while I was in the area a couple months ago, are Daffodil Hill and Indian Grinding Rock. Daffodil Hill is seasonal, so be sure to check online before you visit to make sure the flowers are in bloom. Grinding Rock has tours but can also be explored on your own.

Updates!

I've been a major blog slacker! My last post was in May! So let's get caught up.

After two years with a major retailer and a year and a half on the broker side of the CPG industry, an opportunity surfaced to move not only to the manufacturer side of the business but also into the highly desirable world of adult beverage. Another huge positive for me was being able to move back to San Francisco, the only place I've ever felt at home!

Anchor Brewers & Distillers

Last Wednesday, I said farewell to my old office and to the dear friends I made there, and first thing Thursday morning I loaded up a U-Haul truck with the help of three friends from Portland. Worth noting: They took an entire day of their road-trip to do that! I don't think I've ever laughed so much in one day, let alone enjoyed a move so much (this was my 20th move, so I can say with certainty that moving is not fun). I'm so glad I gave myself a four-day weekend to move because unpacking was a ton of work! Monday was my first day at the new gig and, as far as I can tell, it's love.

My Oregonian laborers

I am happy. Very, very happy.

Easter Cake

I sure have had a lot of baking-related posts lately! I just can't help myself! I wanted to bring something cutesy to my parents' house for Easter and when I saw a similar cake online I just had to give it a try.

I did carrot cake on the bottom and yellow cake on top (in case my nephews didn't like the carrot, but they loved it!). The "nest" is made of chocolate that I melted and drizzled on wax paper. The eggs are rice crispy treats covered in fondant. Those were more tricky than they're worth. If I ever do this again I'll just do chocolate eggs.

Easter Bunny Cupcakes

Here's a sweet treat I whipped up to spread a little spring cheer at the office!

Spice cupcake with vanilla frosting. The ears and bows are made of chocolate I melted and piped onto wax paper. The baskets I scored at Michael's in the dollar bins!

Christopher

We'd been scouting out this location for months so it was a huge disappointment when we finally got out there and it poured all day. After killing some time in the shops on 4th Street, we caught a lucky 30-minute break in the weather to snap off a few frames.

Alicia & Girls

You've seen plenty of photos of this little family over the years. Alicia is forever my favorite client and a dear friend. Her daughters are so easy to photograph because even when they're in a stinky mood, like they were this day, all I have to say is "show me your supermodel!" and suddenly they're full of adorable poses.

We'd hoped to shoot in the blooming orchards between Tracy and Modesto, but the sky was so clear and bright that I wasn't getting any good shots (except for that top center one of the girls running, which I'm in love with). Luckily, we stumbled upon an old feed warehouse that made for even lighting and an awesome backdrop.

Jen in Phoenix

The lovely Jen Barney in Phoenix, Arizona!

These photos were a gift for her mom, who had complained that she didn't have any recent photos of Jen to hang in the house. I certainly hope her mom fell in love with these!

Valentine's in Marin

We had a picnic lunch, hiked a couple of trails, sat on a pebbled beach; it was amazing!

Valentine's Brunch

The weekend before Valentine's Day, I had a few ladies over for brunch.

We sipped mimosas, decorated sugar cookies at the cookie bar, and played a movie love quotes game. It was such fun!

Fall Family Photos

I finally discovered a fantastic default location for portraits in Livermore! I took these photos of the Salas/ Dress siblings last week at Sycamore Grove Park. There is a $5 parking fee but it's well worth the scenery. There's a decent sized bridge, countless crawling tree branches and several miles of trail. Except for a few joggers and cyclists, we had the place to ourselves!

If you know these guys, shhhh!

They had these photos done as a birthday treat for their mom ;)

Oakland Riots 7/8/2010

Thursday, July 8th, former BART police officer Johannes Mehserle was convicted by a Los Angeles jury of a lesser involuntary manslaughter instead of second-degree murder in the New Year's Day 2009 killing of Oscar Grant during his arrest at the Fruitvale, Oakland BART station.

Prior to the 4:00 pm reading of Mehserle's conviction, several downtown Oakland merchants boarded up their storefront windows as a precautionary measure, fearing a repeat of the looting that occurred after Grant's death in 2009. Many businesses allowed their employees to leave early, causing downtown BART stations to become overwhelmed by outbound passengers.

The City of Oakland also took measures to reduce the potential for unrest by calling in officers from 15 different law enforcement agencies, including city police from San Leandro and Hayward, Alameda County Sheriff's Office and California Highway Patrol. Many of the Oakland Police Department officers who worked that evening did so despite the layoffs the department was expected to make this week.

By 7:00 pm, an estimated 800 protesters had gathered on Broadway between 12th and 14th streets, surrounded by a large force of police officers in riot gear, armed with batons and tear gas. The crowd remained tense but peaceful until sundown. Around 9:00 pm, as several protesters began vandalizing storefronts, police declared the protest an unlawful assembly and closed in on the crowd, arresting any who challenged their blockade.

Dozens of self-proclaimed anarchists wearing bandanas over their faces used hammers to break through storefront windows. Looters forced their way into a Foot Locker, beauty shop and jewelry store near 14th Street and Broadway and fled with merchandise. Piles of clothing and shoes removed from Foot Locker were set on fire in the street. Oakland Police and Alameda County Sheriff's stood guard at several banks including California Bank and Trust and Chase Bank on Thomas L. Berkley Way until 12:30 am after they were hit hard by rioters. A mattress was set ablaze in a Sears window display, but was removed by firefighters before any more extensive damage was caused to the building. Protesters pelted police and their vehicles with bottles and M-1000 fireworks, and pushed dozens of flaming dumpsters into the streets to block traffic. City Administrator Dan Lindheim estimated that 30 businesses between 12th and 20th streets sustained looting, broken windows and doors, and graffiti.

BART reported no problems on their trains or in their stations, however the 12th Street and 19th Street stations were closed for the remainder of the night. AC Transit also reported their busses were running at full service and without incident, but had been diverted around downtown.

By 1:00 am Friday, a total of 78 arrests had been made. The Alameda County Sheriff's Department reported that only 19 of those arrested were Oakland residents, and 12 were from out of state. 66 of those arrested were booked and released for unlawful assembly, and the remaining 12 were booked at Alameda County Jail for a variety of felonies including violation of parole, rioting, arson, and possession of explosive devices.

Colby & Jaclyn Isaacson Wedding - Walnut Creek CA, May 2010

Colby and Jaclyn Isaacson

Scott's Garden in downtown Walnut Creek

May 2010

Shannon's little princesses

Shannon wanted spring portraits of her one and three year old daughters at the Presidio in San Francisco. With the city it's always a toss up whether the sun will peak out or not, and this morning it sure didn't. The girls were freezing but mom and dad jumped in and kept them smiling long enough to get some sweet portraits regardless! Thank goodness for my co-shooter Lisa, who is amazing with kids and really made this shoot happen. What a relief to have her in jams such as these!

My Favorite Little Family

I have been photographing Alicia since I was in Photo 101 class using 35mm black and white film that I developed by hand in the school lab. Throughout college I used her pregnancies and family portraits for school projects and practice shoots. It's no wonder these three are my favorite subjects to photograph! Yesterday we met up at a park in Tracy, CA for some quick spring portraits of the girls, and as always, Alicia's munchkins were more than willing ham it up for the camera.

Engagement Shoot

Lisa and I had the pleasure of photographing Colby and Jaclyn last weekend at the Presidio in the Marina District of San Francisco. Despite the goosebumps and wind gusts, we all had a great time! Lisa and I will be photographing their wedding in Walnut Creek next month.

2010 thus far

Perhaps a "hello" to the new year is long overdue considering we're now in the first week of April, but despite the steady stream of protesting emails from friends and followers, I haven't felt inspired to blog since Christmas. The jury is still out as to whether 2010 is going to bring more success than the trying year before it, but regardless, I have already found myself enjoying exciting new opportunities and friendships that easily outweigh the anxiety of a still failing job market.

In March I attended the Southwestern Photojournalism Conference in Fort Worth, Texas, as I have every spring for three years. This year was extra special since Esther Havens was invited to speak for the first time. Esther's message about the newly emerging genre of humanitarian photography became the central theme of the conference, and she something of a celebrity for the college students in attendance. I was so proud of her! If you haven't already begun following Esther's work on your own or through prior blog posts of mine, I encourage you to do so.

The most exciting new thing 2010 has brought into my life is a news writer position with YoProCo (Young Professional Connection), an online news source for young professionals set to launch at TechCrunch in New York City this May. The publication will also be a place where young professionals can follow the success of select peers who are emerging as industry leaders and innovative entrepreneurs.

I am one of many young journalists who was hurled into the news industry during a time of total upheaval. Newspapers are on their last leg, stock photography is no longer lucrative, and staff jobs have become few and far between as outlets rely more heavily on freelancers. I have blogged before about how we absolutely must view this season not as the devastation of news media but as a rebirthing that we are incredibly privileged to participate in. The best way to experience personal success in this industry is to jump on board with whatever innovations are going to become the standard of news media in the near future. I believe that the convergence of social networking, internet technology and traditional news media is the future of the industry.

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Christmas

The holiday season is officially upon us and Christmas is only one short day away. I always find myself feeling very conflicted during the holidays, torn in so many different directions as to what the best or right way to celebrate is.

Being an American in the year 2009 means celebrating the holidays by camping out in front of Target at 4am the day after Thanksgiving, only after having fingered through newspaper ads to find that they've got the best sale prices; by dropping an obscene amount of money in over-packed shopping malls while weaving through crowds of bargain hunting moms toting around screaming children; by spending countless hours hanging Christmas lights from rain gutters and scrutinizing Christmas trees in the Home Depot parking lot. Being raised Christian means erecting an inflatable nativity scene on the front lawn to ensure your neighbors know you're in on the "real" reason for the season, attending midnight mass on Christmas Eve and pretending it hasn't been exactly one year since you stood in a church, and by refusing to abbreviate with "Xmas" because you think it's a crying shame people are taking the Christ out of Christmas.

Last Sunday I decided to surprise my mom by showing up at church. My dad plays in the worship band so during half of the service my mom sits alone, and while I'm sure she doesn't mind, she always seems to appreciate when I'm there. I'm by no means a church goer, not because I'm not spiritual, but because… well that's a whole other blog. The point is, sitting through a Christmas service at a Baptist church was an awkward reminder of why exactly I'm not a church goer. The service started out with some familiar Christmas songs, which I always enjoy. It just feels good to spend a wintry Sunday morning there in the second pew singing "Oh Holy Night" next to my mother. It wasn't until the sermon started that I wished I wasn't in the second pew, because it meant everyone at the 11-o-clock service would know that the Warne's non-church-going daughter slipped out half way through the message and, oh dear, how rude that would be. I understood why the pastor was agitated about his kids being on "Holiday Break" instead of "Christmas Break," why he disliked being greeted with "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas," and why the multimedia of a manger scene touched him so deeply. I knew because I too used to feel that way. The only thing about that sermon that I couldn't just shrug off as "Christian culture" was when the pastor insinuated that the non-religious were trying to steal "their" holiday and take all of the "true" meaning out of it.

Most children would say that Christmas is about being good all year so Santa Clause will squeeze down your chimney and leave goodies under your tree. Most Christians would say that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, the fulfilling of God's promise to send His Son, our Savior, to Earth, and recognizing that God is with us. Most Americans would say Christmas is about shopping, baking, drinking, and enjoying the company of friends and family. So what is the true reason for the season and the purpose for such celebration? Perhaps they're all wrong.

December 25th was first celebrated as Brumalia by the ancient Greeks, a holiday dedicated to multiple solar deities. Brumalia was also observed by the Romans as a month-long celebration of Bacchus, a character in Greek mythology believed to incite ritual madness, drunkenness, and ecstasy. The early Christians, in an attempt to gain converts, allowed the holiday to be celebrated but turned the last day, December 25th, into Christmas, a day to celebrate the fulfilling of the prophecy of Christ. Over time other traditions were adopted and the holiday called Christmas became a globally celebrated season of trees, wreaths, lights, gifts, and of course, Santa Clause. Christmas trees are an adaptation of the pagan Roman practice of bringing evergreens indoors to celebrate winter solstice. Santa Clause originates from the reputation of Saint Nicholas, a 4th century Turkish bishop, who was a generous man with an affinity for children, and was often said to have performed miracles.

So are we to celebrate winter solstice? Most no longer believe in Greek mythology. Are we to celebrate the birth of Christ? It is widely accepted that Jesus was not actually born on December 25th. Not even early Christians recognized the day as his birthday, since at that time the observance of anyone's birth date was considered a frivolous and self-absorbed pagan practice. The only conclusion I can draw from all of this is that Christmas is whatever it means to you. It is the celebration of whatever warms your heart and fills you with festive cheer. I choose to celebrate American and Christian Christmas traditions not because I believe them to be true, but because they are my culture. My Christmas is taking the opportunity to buy gifts that show my loved ones they are a special part of my life, by enjoying delicious meals surrounded by friends and family, and by observing traditions that define the time and place in which I live.

The Adventure of Failure

I have started and restarted this blog a dozen different ways attempting to draw from some analogy that would mask the more venerable and personal aspects of its origin. Screw the analogies. This blog entry is about the raw ugly hard part of life that I don't usually send off into cyberspace for fear that it will taint others' ability to view me in a strictly professional light. However, I honestly believe that the most precious thing we have to offer one another are our stories, because in doing so we can inspire, motivate or even provide accountability to those around us. So allow me to begin by saying 2009 was not my year.

If you had asked me at 21 what the next ten years of my life would look like I'd have told you that I was going to finish my degree, get a job as a photojournalist, travel the world, fall madly in love, and that the rest of my life would be a long string of momentous occasions. Because why the hell shouldn't it be? Here's the truth. Two men have loved me enough to marry me, and those same two men have cheated on me and left me. For five years I immersed myself in all things journalism only to spend two years working in a corporate cubicle before watching my career swirl down the drain before it had really even begun. There are days, today even, when I allow the doubt, the defeat and the resentment to creep in and take hold of my mind and my heart. There have been countless times in my life when the only thing that kept me pushing was knowing that there were people who cared what happened to me even when I didn't. Perhaps that's the trick to a good life; always surrounding yourself with people who are supportive and love you through the tough stuff.

So back to 2009... After a year and a half in my cubicle I had gotten stir crazy and was itching to go back to school. My company had an opening in Tempe, AZ and would help me pay for my MBA at Arizona State. I told myself that if I got that opening it was a sign - I was meant to go. So when I got it, I did. Perhaps I should have seen the red flags popping up when HR messed up my transfer paperwork, or when my car fell off a U-Haul trailer just shy of Palm Springs on the drive over. I tried to stay optimistic and just passed it off as clumsy luck. As my three months in AZ slowly crept by, I found myself dealing with endless HR problems, drama with my ex back in CA, and even went into kidney failure thanks to the triple-digit dry desert heat. I threw in the towel. I shoved as much of my belongings as would fit into my Ford Focus and abandoned the rest. I headed back to NorCal, but this time through Vegas because, hell, who wouldn't have needed a weekend in Vegas at that point. Upon arriving home I didn't even apply for unemployment because I couldn't imagine it taking longer than a couple weeks to start working again. Four months later I found myself caving in and accepting a job pushing papers in a small office for barely over minimum wage. I worked hard and learned quickly and my financial situation slowly began to get better, but only as my personal life once again fell to pieces.

I could easily end this entry there and wait patiently for your, "I'm so sorry!" and "Keep your chin up!" replies, but that's not the point of this entry at all. The point is that 2009 might have topped my list of disastrously disappointing years, but it has been jam packed with adventure.

I went to a rave in Mexico City and got drunk at a soccer bar with the locals. I attended my second Southwestern Photojournalism Conference in Dallas. I had an action packed road trip to Arizona. While I was there, I got to deepen my friendship with one of my dearest girlfriends and hung out with cousins who I grew up only visiting every couple years. I watched the sunset from the top of "A" Mountain and played volleyball in Lake Powell. I road tripped to Vegas... twice. I spent a weekend helping my college best friend pick out a couch for her new apartment three blocks from Venice Beach. I went to a fashion show with an old friend who didn't mind sharing a bottle of cheap wine in soup cups. And perhaps most incredible of all, I watched my nephews start preschool and was able to be around when they began using all sorts of smart words.

2009 can't have been a bad year, it was just a year full of the unexpected. The author of "Eat, Pray, Love" wrote about how agonizing her transition was from who she was before the one-year adventure that became that book and the woman that book allowed her to be. By being stripped of everything she had, including her financial security and her relationship, she found a new and better woman inside herself and began to thrive. I challenge you, I challenge myself - Let 2009 not be a year of brokenness but a year of refiner's fire that segways into a 2010 overflowing with blessings and success.

Does humanitarianism perpetuate poverty?

A friend and I had a long and lively debate this evening about whether or not Western humanitarian aid is ultimately helpful or hurtful to developing nations and what role the government should play in foreign aid compared to charities. I admittedly approach this subject from a more heartfelt and emotional standpoint, having been actively involved in humanitarian work from early childhood. This friend is also well traveled and has been living and working in a developing nation for the past several years, however he has very different thoughts on how Western involvement in developing nations should be carried out.

The conversation was sparked by my forwarding of a promotional email from a non-profit organization. My reasoning for including this friend on the forward was not so much that I expected him to donate as that being a photography enthusiast I assumed he would enjoy the photographs, which were taken by another friend of mine who we've spoken about in the past.

My friend promptly refuted my support of this non-profit's work by giving historical context to the inability of Western charity to contribute toward a lasting betterment of developing nations. I defended that there is more to charity than solving global issues; there is the meeting of basic human needs be it physical, emotional, or spiritual. I was enraged that this friend dared attribute my compassion for these peoples' livelihood to propaganda for a flawed and ultimately damaging practice. It took some time for us to both set aside emotion and talk facts.

We agreed that if humanitarian efforts met only the physical needs of the people and did not address the overlaying issue of government corruption that the government would never assume a sense of responsibility for meeting its people's needs, and that the people would grow complacent and not be motivated to rise up and force their government to do so. We did not agree on how Western nations should alter their approach to this situation.

The United States government is selective about which countries and which types of conflicts it will become involved in. Africa is, as a continent, rather abandoned by government intervention from the US. It is my opinion that the US does not involve itself in African coups and civil wars because there is no African nation capable of being a militaristic threat to it and most of the commerce between African countries and the US can be met otherwise. Unrest in parts of Europe, Asia and the Middle East, on the other hand, is of concern to the US because there stands a greater threat. It was not directly stated, although I can fairly assume that my friend would agree that the US justifiably must consider its own physical and monetary well being when approaching any foreign conflict. However, where we part ways is in our views as to the balance between political and humanitarian motivation for Western intervention.

My friend stated that the best way to dissolve a dictatorship is to politically endorse and finance a new and better leader. I strongly disagree. I simply cannot imagine a way in which the American people would be able to agree upon a way to carry out such a policy, and should the US government do so without consulting its people, there would be widespread outrage. Not to mention that this theory entirely neglects to address the very grim probability of the new leader being any less corrupt than the last. A man who has not been shown compassion does not know how to be compassionate. A man who rises up solely out of selfish ambition will address his political office as a self-seeking leader. In order for a political figure to effect positive socioeconomic change in his country he must first understand what the needs are and have a genuine desire to meet them.

There is no quick or simple answer, but I will definitely continue researching and trying to gain a more inclusive understanding of the issue. I'll probably revisit and rewrite this blog entry several times as I gain new perspective.

Confrontation and Standards

This conversation happened via Facebook a while back and the more I thought about it the more I felt inclined to post it. One thing that really bothers me is when people confront others about their perceived lack of moral standards without first giving their own standards some thorough analysis. Why do I believe this? Where did I get this from? Is it something subjective that I've chosen for myself but might not necessarily apply to everyone else? Am I even in a position to genuinely confront this person?

Hopefully I opened up this former roommate's eyes a bit, especially considering she hasn't seen and and has hardly spoken with me in eight years.

(HER FIRST EMAIL) "Hey Kimberly, So I know that I am not there to tell you this to your face but you know me and you know that i would if i could, so I will just do the next best thing and send you a message about this. Eph. 4:31 "Let all...evil speaking be put away from you.." It is so weird to see cursing in your messages to people, like about you being someone's b-word. What is that??? I am not judging you...I love you and I am just holding you to a higher standard like we were taught to live. Those years at TM were not a waste of time...they were years that should affect us and change us for a lifetime. I hope that I don't offend you b/c that is not my intention at all. I just want to see the beautiful woman you are on the outside shine even brighter b/c of the Jesus who lives on the inside. Talk to you later Kimberly."

(MY RESPONSE) "The only 'bad' word specifically identified in the Bible is using His name in vain. Outside of that, words that are identified as 'bad' are based on societal standards, which shift based on the time and the place and even one's social status. For example, I will only rarely use the 'F-Word,' however my dad would be deeply offended for me to even use the word 'crap' in front of him. And I'm assuming 'crap' isn't a word that you would generally take offense to even though my dad would scold you for having a wicked tongue at the word's usage. So allow me to give you some accountability. Who are you to decide what language is appropriate and good for me? Do no allow yourself to become a Bible brandishing zealot who boasts of their purity to others and expects their own personal standards, set merely by you and those around you, to be applied to the rest of society. I am fully aware of and comfortable with the situational appropriateness of the words that I choose."

(HER RESPONSE) "Wow! That is one thing I have always loved about you Kimberly! You know what your convictions are and don't let anyone sway you. I respect that. Your message is definitely causing me to think because I really cannot combat anything that you wrote. You are right that crap is not a bad word to me but it is to some people in my church to be exact. I was also thinking...I use the word whore and it is not a bad word to me but the first time I said it in front of my mother-in-law I got a strange look. Yeah oops. I guess it is a bad word to some people. Thank you for speaking your mind and for writing me back about it. It shows that our friendship is still there and that we can agree to disagree without being offended. I love you girl. Talk to you later."